Birthdays

Birthdays of my girls always make me stop a wee bit sad, if I'm being honest.  Especially as they get older.  Now don't get me wrong - I love to watch these little ladies grow up into young women, but there are times that make me yearn for years gone by.  Knowing that I don't have little toddler hands to hold - instead, most of the girls' hands are as big as mine!  No shoes to tie - in fact, the majority of us can share shoes!  All those things that seemed, at the time, all consuming.  And I suppose  they were.... But now that we're out of those years of the girls needing me almost every minute of the day, I want to go back to those days. 

Perhaps if I could go back to those days, I'd remember how exhausting they were, and I'd celebrate the season we are in right now, with teenagers and pre-teens.... It really is so much fun, but in a different way.

Anyhow, all that to say....it's my babies birthday today.  And she turns 11.  So I perused my pictures to find a few of my favorites!

This girl has always loved her animals.... 

Little or big, it doesn't really matter.

She has also always love her friends....

....and her sisters.  And what two peas in a pod these ones are!

She loves some excitement....

....and some adventure.

And I love her. 

The Freezing-Ness of Fall

This time of year, I'm always freezing.  Free. zing!!  It's funny, because come spring, when the weather is like this, and we've survived another Alberta winter, we are outside in shorts and t-shirts.  But not in the fall.  No ma'am.  Right now, I wear 3 layers of clothes (in the house, let alone outside!), am cuddled up under a blanket, and still, my fingers are like ice cubes.  In this season, I have a couple of tricks to help combat the freezing-ness of fall. 

 

1.  Magic Bag.  The first, and most gratifying thing to keep the cold at bay, is, of course, my magic bag.  My hubs calls it my "woobie", because I'm like a baby with a special blanket.  I can be found curled up on the couch with it.  Once it cools down, I bribe one of my girls to warm it up for me again.  I'm not gonna lie, even the smell of my magic bag I love (except if it gets nuked for too long and the flax starts to burn....) 

 

2.  Slippers.  Always and forever.  My sister-in-law often crochets me slippers and gives them to me for Christmas, but by this time of year, those have long since worn out.  This year, I decided to treat myself to a new pair of moccasins.  I've always wanted some, and I decided that now was the time.  So I searched high and low until I found the perfect pair...

 

Truth be told, leaving the house is harder because it means that I have to take these bad boys off.  I do love them!

 

3.  Quilts.  Already mentioned above.... but they are worth the re-mention.  I have quilts scattered around the whole house, and I especially love my flannel quilts.  The other day, I found a hand made quilt and Goodwill for $20!  You better believe I snatched it up right quick.  You can never have too many...

 

4.  Heated blankets.  I have a heated blanket on our bed, and I am convinced that whoever invented such a thing was a woman who has survived a long winter on the prairies.  There's nothing like climbing into a nice, warm bed!

 

5.  Long underwear.  There's no reason to be ashamed....I've worn my long underwear many a times already this year.  My motto: Better safe than sorry!  I tell my Girls to put theirs on too, if we'll be outside for a long time.  It's better to be overdressed rather than underdressed!

 

5.  Mittens.  Forget the nice, "sophisticated" leather gloves.  Give me mitts any day of the week.  I  may or may not have 3 (or more!) pairs.... Lined, unlined... you name it.  I've got them.

 

6.  Girls.  Lots and lots of girls to cuddle with.  I've found 4 to be the best number for me, personally...  And I especially love these ones!

 

 

 

 

Thank Heaven for Little Girls

Oy.  Nothing like the flu in our home to make me appreciate health.  Art's been hit with it, and he so lovingly passed it on to me.  I am praying that it stops here, and doesn't make it's way to The Girls... Although last night, Ellie Mae kept asking me to kiss her, because she wanted to be sick.  "I like being sick..." she says... Silly girl.  Nothing fun about puking your guts out on the driveway because you can't quite make it to the house.  Lovely.

As I've watched my Girls over the last few days, I have been oh, so thankful for these 4 little ladies.  I remember when the Girls were little, and every so often, listening to them talk to each other, and being mortified of how they spoke to each other.  And then it hit me.  "They sound like their mother.  Like me.  This is how I speak to them." 

Nothing quite like that to give me a quick dose of humble pie.  I didn't like to hear it with them, and so, I must first change it with me.  Because these little girls are modeling what they see and hear from their mama.  From me.  From my flawed and imperfect and impatient, selfish self.  Now that's not to say that I'm not still flawed and imperfect and impatient, selfish and sometimes far too vocal.  Because I am.  But my hope and prayer is that my little girls, who are rapidly growing up (good heavens, I have a teenager now!) will also see love and grace and compassion flowing from  my mouth.  And my heart.  And that they will learn these traits to be of utmost importance.  And over the last few days, I've been on the receiving end of their compassion.  And love.  And grace.  And willingness to help.  And I've been so thankful.

A Quiet Morning?!

This morning, I'm reveling in something that rarely (if ever) happens around here....and on a Saturday morning, none the less!  I am home.  Alone.  HOME ALONE! 

 

Art took the 3 younger girls to the church for their practice for the Christmas concert and then him and Hannah were going on a shopping date for Hannah's secret sister.  So that leaves me home.  alone.  It's a Christmas miracle!

 

It's funny, I long for these times, and yet, when they are here, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself!  After the flurry of getting everyone ready and suited up (it's -40C with windchill this morning!) and out the door, I'm taking a few moments to sit.  In the quiet.  By myself.  I had a leisurely breakfast.  By myself.  I cranked up some tunes (what I wanted to listen to, not kids music!).  And now, I sit.  Listening.  To the hum of the dishwasher (I can hear it after I turned down my music).  To the quiet. 

 

 

As I sit in my new favorite place (this chair!), I realize that listening is a discipline that I am unaccustomed to.  I'm used to talking.  Doing.  Rushing.  Reminding (otherwise known as nagging...).  Ordering.  And then talking some more.  And let me tell you, I'm digging "listening".  It's been too long since I've just sat.  And I am reminded that this is something that I must make time for.  It's something that feeds my soul.  And my spirit. 

 

And in this quiet, the quiet I many times long for, I realize that, although this quiet is glorious, I do love the sound of life.  The sound of little girls giggling.  And footsteps pounding up and down the stairs.  And the endless chatter.  And the never ending question...."Mom?"  And I am thankful.  Thankful for the quiet.  And the opportunity to sit.  And listen.  But I am also so thankful for the life. 

 

 

  

Snuggle In

We got over a foot of snow yesterday around these parts.  Seems like winter is here to stay.  I hardly feel ready, yet I know that Old Man Winter won't wait for me.

 

Today after church, we all changed back into pajamas and piled on the couch to snuggle in.  Ellie Mae cuddled with me for about 2.9 minutes, after which she abandoned me to play checkers with her older sister.  Abby still sits with me, under the same blanket, plugging away at a book she needs to get through for school.  Hannah and Art lay opposite me...and I hear slow, methodical breathing from the man of our house, while Hannah occasionally whispers about things she's found on kijiji that we "must" buy.

 

These are the days that I want to be permanently etched in my memory.  The days of all my people around me.  The days of falling asleep on the couch while little girls quietly giggle, and older girls still wanting to be around their parents, not yet consumed with friendships and wanting to "get out" on a Sunday afternoon.  And I know that these days are fleeting.  And they are passing all too quickly...

 

So today on this Sunday, this day of rest that God has given us, I'm snuggling in with my family.  With my napping husband and giggling girls.... and I hope you get to do the same!

In The Dark of the Night

I don't normally post articles on here, but I sure did love this one that came across my computer...Please, take a moment and read it.  It's worth it, I promise!

 

I love this story for many reasons.  One, it started as a secret thing - no one wanted credit, this group of ladies just wanted to help people.  No accolades, no pats on the back from others....just personal satisfaction.  LOVE that!  I also love that it was a group of mama's.  Mama's, living their lives, wanting to help other people while still taking care of their own families.  Mama's, who saw people's need, and wanted to, in some way, ease the suffering of those they saw around them.

 

I love, love, love it!

 

 

Joyful In Hope

Well, not too much going on over here other than the regular-ness of life.  The mid-winter blah has kinda set in in our home, and I find myself looking oh, so forward to spring....which is still 3 months away! 

 

I've been thinking on this verse over the past week...

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

Rom. 12:12

 

And I've realized that this pretty much covers most life situation.  I have a choice to be impatient and cranky while I'm looking towards circumstances or situations.  I can choose bitterness during times of affliction.  I can think only about myself, and not remember the One who's brought me through so much.  OR, I can choose a higher way, and better path....for myself and my family.  I can choose joy.  And let me tell you, friends, my choice makes all the difference in the world.  My attitude and mindset sets the stage for everyone around me. 

 

Not that I have an awful lot of affliction going on these days, but there will come a day, of this I know for certain, when I face trials.  And so, today, I will choose to try and be faithful, patient and joyful.  Because the choices I make today affect my life tomorrow.  And if I choose these good things today, hopefully, when the really tough stuff comes along, I will be so conditioned to be these things - joyful, patient and faithful, that it'll be a no brainer.  And it'll make my journey a little bit smoother.  At least, that's the plan... 

 

 

Productivity

I find at times that one of the (many) hard parts of being a stay at home Mom is that I don't often feel very productive.  Sure, I'm busy... all day long....doing....something.  My house is (somewhat) clean, we're all (somewhat) fed and clothed, yet it seems like I have nothing to show for all my work.  Nothing really, well, tangible.  We all know that as soon as the house is clean, the very next minute, it's well on it's way to being dirty again; and as soon as we're done eating, well, it's time to clean up and think about the next meal.  And this goes on, and on, and on.... Oh, the monotony can bog me down and get me in a bit of a funk!

 

However, today, I have something to show for my morning.  I feel somewhat productive!  After a quick trip to town first thing this morning for a doctor's appointment in the crazy, freezing rain, we made it home (in one piece, thankfully!), only to see the rain turn to snow.  We had plans to go into the city this afternoon, but I figure the roads are gonna be an ice rink, so, we decided to stay home.  And make jam. 

 

We ran out a couple of days ago, and you'd think it was the end of the world, with all the complaining and whining (mainly from Art!) that we were out.  So, 22 lbs. of sugar later, we finished up 8 batches.  I think we ended up with 21 jars, so I am hoping that this jam will last us a month or two... The other benefit to getting all these raspberries out of my freezer?  I can almost see the bottom of my freezer.  It's been a while, let me tell you.

 

 

Keep safe on the roads, and warm in your homes, friends.   Now, I'm off to make some biscuits (only to be eaten right away) to go with that jam!

A Day Gone Awry

Do you ever have those days, that almost as soon as you open your eyes, you think to yourself, "Oh crap.... we're not off to a good start!"  Yah....me neither.  NOT!

 

That was this morning.  And all my fault.  Completely.  It started out with me staying up way, way, WAY too late last night.  And I even said before I went to sleep, "Tomorrow's gonna be rough!"  Now you may argue that I brought it on myself.  And I partially did.  But really?  On those days, don't you just wish that everything would run smoothly, you could put yourself on autopilot, until the afternoon (at least in our house), when you can then usually find a moment (or 6) to get yourself sorted out?  That definitely wasn't how things went down this morning in the Goerzen Household of Girls.  Art stopped in for lunch, took one look at me, and asked. "Rough morning?"....

 

Ummm...."YUP!"

 

However, in the midst of it all, when I have reason to pout and pitch a fit, I still have a choice.  Am I choosing to take the high road, and deal with things as they come up in a mature manner, or am I going to give in to my emotions and throw myself on the floor, weeping and wailing.  Truth be told, today I did a little bit of both. 

 

This all sounds so dramatic, and really, it wasn't too big of a deal.  Some issues arose this morning, but it's just a reminder of how constant parenting really is.  It's definitely a marathon, my friends, and there are times when I think, "I'm not cut out for running marathons!  I'm a sprinter!"  But God knows.  He knows how much I suck at some things.  And those are the things that He's refining in me, if I'll let Him.  And it's hard and uncomfortable and painful and exhausting.  But here's hoping that (one day), I'm the better for it.  So I submit.  And I apologize to my Girls for my crankiness.  And they apologize to me.  And we cry.  And we hug.  And we make waffles for dinner, complete with strawberries and whipped cream and waffle sauce and chocolate.  

Because it's been one of those days. 

Thanksgiving is Coming...

....and the turkeys got fat.  So we butchered them!

 

 

This morning, for school, I had the Girls journal about what they are thankful for.  It was interesting what their answers were: family, friends, chickens, turkeys, lots of room to run around outside...

 

And I was reminded, once again, at how my actions and attitude affect these little ladies.  They parrot what I do and say, my heart attitudes, things I am cranky about, dreams I have for our lives, and what I am thankful for.  It runs over onto them.  And I need to check myself constantly to see what I am putting on these Girls.  What am I teaching them to be thankful for.  I am content with where I am at?  Or am I always wanting something more.  Am I choosing to rejoice in all circumstances?  Or am I getting through the circumstances, grumbling and complaining along the way.  I know what I would like to say....that I am always thankful.  But I know, if I'm being honest, that I'm not always thankful.  That I do complain and grumble.  And I don't really want to be that woman.  Nor do I want my children to be those children, who are never content with what they do have, but are always wanting more.... And so, I fight.  I fight myself and my carnal, sinful nature of wanting more.  I choose to be content.  I choose to have joy.  I choose life.

 

In the past year, I read the book, "One Thousand Gifts", by Ann Voskamp, and I'm not gonna lie, it really challenged me.  Challenged me to not only have an attitude of gratitude, but also, to do something tangible about it.  So, I bought my Girls and I gratitude journals.  They are all in the middle of the kitchen, where they can easily reach them, and they write in them whenever they want.

 

 

 I help Ellie Mae by writing what she wants first, and then she copies it down underneath.  It's very cool and humbling to look back over the past year, and see what God has done, and how we have so very much to be thankful for!

 

Be joyful always. 

Pray continually;

GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, fir this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus

1 Thessolonians 5:16-18

 

Thanksgiving is coming.... but let's not only be thankful in this season, but always.  Continually.  Because thankfulness breeds joy.  And joy breeds life.  And I choose life.

The Flurry of September

I read an interesting article the other day on the internet, entitled Busyness as Moral Laziness.  I especially loved this:

Busyness acts to repress our inner fears and perpetual anxieties, as we scramble to achieve an enviable image to display to others. We become “outward” people, obsessed with how we appear, rather than “inward” people, reflecting on the meaning of our lives. 

 

Busyness also seems to be a determination not to “miss out on life.” Behind much of the rat-race of modern life is the unexamined assumption that what I do determines who I am. In this way, we define ourselves by what we do, rather than by any quality of what we are inside. It is typical in a party for one stranger to approach another with the question, “What do you do?” Perhaps we wouldn’t have a clue how to reply to the deeper question, “Who are you?”

 James Houston

After having the luxury of 4 months of summer holidays, having little to no organized activities, September always seems to be extra full.   School starts up again, we try and get into some sort of routine, and figure out which activities which we will or will not be involved in. 

Part of our deciding to homeschool is our desire to be less busy, to spend more time together as a family, and not be running around like chickens with our heads cut off, taking our kids to things that we deem important.  Since I have the Girls at home all day, I try and choose a few activities which can be done during the day, which really helps reduce the number of evenings that we are out in a week.  It's often hard to stick to my guns when there are so many cool things to do.  But I've realized over time that me/us being busy equals cranky, scary Mom coming out.  The things that really are important, like school, family time, or down time, gets left behind, and we're so busy running, doing all the "fun things", that the fun things become something that we dread.   

I need to be more of a person of being, not doing.  I think many Mom's can find it difficult, because we are so accustomed to doing everything for our family.  I know I find it hard to just be.  To sit and relax, and not think about the dishes in the kitchen sink, or the dirty floor that needs to be cleaned, laundry that needs to be put away.  But we need to "be".  To sit and worship.  To cuddle with our children, scratching their backs and chatting about the things that are on their minds.  To watch them play on the swing set. 

And so, in this month that is normally a flurry of activity, I am trying to "be" more, and "do" less.  I think it might be working, because so far, scary Mom hasn't even shown her ugly face!

I could almost...

This morning, I woke up early....well, early for me! It was about 7:15, and I decided to go for a walk. I quietly snuck out of bed and down the stairs, being careful not to wake any of my sleeping household. I got my shoes and headed out for an hour walk. Let me tell you, it was beautiful outside! There was still that early morning feel in the air. The birds were singing, the wind hadn't picked up yet (we've had crazy winds over the last few days here!), and it was quiet. In fact the only other person I saw for the first part of my walk was a farmer, heading out to his fields to work.

It's been so long since I've done something like that....oh wait, I probably never have! (I'm not much of a morning person!). But I have found myself lacking in the "quiet department". With 4 kids, homeschooling, running a business.... There's not much opportunity for quiet around here!

It was a great way to start my Sunday morning, just being alone. And quiet.

I had left a note for my family, since I knew that they'd be up before I got home, and I knew that they'd be wondering where the heck I was! When we were talking about my walk later on the in the day, I said to Art, "I could almost become a morning person!"  He couldn't actually believe those words came out of my mouth....

The Girls asked if they could come with me tomorrow. I actually contemplated it....for a second...and then I remembered. Quiet. Being still. That is the purpose for me to get away....from them. And it is good. And much overdue.

P.S. We got 3 eggs today...