Busyness acts to repress our inner fears and perpetual anxieties, as we scramble to achieve an enviable image to display to others. We become “outward” people, obsessed with how we appear, rather than “inward” people, reflecting on the meaning of our lives.
Busyness also seems to be a determination not to “miss out on life.” Behind much of the rat-race of modern life is the unexamined assumption that what I do determines who I am. In this way, we define ourselves by what we do, rather than by any quality of what we are inside. It is typical in a party for one stranger to approach another with the question, “What do you do?” Perhaps we wouldn’t have a clue how to reply to the deeper question, “Who are you?”
After having the luxury of 4 months of summer holidays, having little to no organized activities, September always seems to be extra full. School starts up again, we try and get into some sort of routine, and figure out which activities which we will or will not be involved in.
Part of our deciding to homeschool is our desire to be less busy, to spend more time together as a family, and not be running around like chickens with our heads cut off, taking our kids to things that we deem important. Since I have the Girls at home all day, I try and choose a few activities which can be done during the day, which really helps reduce the number of evenings that we are out in a week. It's often hard to stick to my guns when there are so many cool things to do. But I've realized over time that me/us being busy equals cranky, scary Mom coming out. The things that really are important, like school, family time, or down time, gets left behind, and we're so busy running, doing all the "fun things", that the fun things become something that we dread.
I need to be more of a person of being, not doing. I think many Mom's can find it difficult, because we are so accustomed to doing everything for our family. I know I find it hard to just be. To sit and relax, and not think about the dishes in the kitchen sink, or the dirty floor that needs to be cleaned, laundry that needs to be put away. But we need to "be". To sit and worship. To cuddle with our children, scratching their backs and chatting about the things that are on their minds. To watch them play on the swing set.
And so, in this month that is normally a flurry of activity, I am trying to "be" more, and "do" less. I think it might be working, because so far, scary Mom hasn't even shown her ugly face!