More fear

It's interesting to me how, in my life, fear rears it's ugly head. I wrote about this subject a while ago, but once again, it's staring me straight in the face. And it's stupid. I realize that I have some fear in my life, and how it comes out is kinda crazy.

We have been painting our house, and I really wanted to do something different. We've always had darker, warmer colors, and I really wanted to brighten things up, and chose two different, very light colors (muslim and white down....you can imagine what they look like!). I was very happy with my selection, and then we painted the walls. And they were light. Really light. I knew that this is what I wanted, but now that it was here, I wasn't sure. Everything in me wanted to go back to what was comfortable and familiar, to these dark colors. At first I didn't think much about it, but then, I started to obsess about it. Truly. And I realized that it was fear that was making me doubt. Fear of what people would think, if I would really like this color, fear of change and something different. Stupid, I know, that I would be obsessing about paint. But I was.

As I thought more about it, I realized once again that our house has kinda been symbolic of what's going on in our lives. God's been teaching us new things, and we're walking a different path these days. And it's not usually easy, and we can't go back to the old and comfortable, but it's good. Really good. Kinda like our paint. New, different, but good. So, there you have it. Isn't God crazy? Using my house to show me some of what is in my heart...Bizarre, yes. But cool.